300

Loosely based historical fantasy directed by Zack Snyder, the 300 tells a fictionalized tale of the battle of Thermopylae, based on Frank Miller's graphic novel of the same name. The film is graphically gorgeous, with more than a years worth of post production work going into creating scenes that flow into and out of the pages of the graphic novel. Narration voice over is provided by Dilios (David Wenham) and sets the scene for the Valiant defense of Greece. The virtues of reason and freedom are set in stark contrast to the debauched and depraved actions of the Persian Horde.
The start of the movie comes when a Persian messanger comes to Sparta to demand earth and water from the Spartans, and is summarily front kicked into a large open pit for his troubles. The King of the Spartans, Leonidas (Gerald Butler) then visits the Ephors, mystics of Sparta to seek permission for a defense against the Persians. It is denied due to treachery, but Leonidas makes the decision to take 300 volunteers to the "Hot Gates" at Thermopylae and prevent the Persians from entering into Greece.
The defense of the pass is a series of tightly shot sequences that depict the superior fighting skills of the Spartans and their allies, and is designed to make the Persians come to them rather than seek a way around them. In this they succeed, but are betrayed by a deformed creature, Ephialtes (Andrew Tiernan), son of a Spartan father and mother who fled their State rather than have the boy exposed to die for his deformities.
In the defense of the pass Leonidas meets with the Persian King, Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) and informs him that his blood too may be spilled at Greek hands.
After their betrayal the Spartans find themselves surrounded and abandoned by their allies and Xerxes comes once again to offer King Leonidas the position of Warlord of all Greece. Leonidas sheds his helmet, shield and spear and appears to bow before Xerxes, but it is a ruse to allow one of his men to kill the officer blocking Leonidas from casting his spear at Xerxes. He fails to kill the great king, but does manage to tear away some of his rings and bloody his mouth. An arrow storm finishes the remainder of the Spartans, and only Dilios remains to tell the story of the defense to a new army, raised from all the Spartans to defend against the Persians at the battle of Plataea.
Historically, this is a very loose rendering of the tales of the Classical Historians Aeschylus, Diodorus, Herodotus and Plutarch. Ancient Greeks would not have understood the morals that this interpretation renders, or would have laughed openly at them. While some aspects of the story are accurate enough, there is no mention of the institutionalized homosexual relationships of the Spartans. The role of Spartan women is decently portrayed, and the side story of Gorgo (Lena Headey) is used to tie the failure of the Spartan Army to come to Leonidas' aid to the treachery of Theron (Dominic West.)
All in all this film is a graphic novel brought to the big screen, and is pleasant action flick fair for most. Not a great philosophical treatise on East vs West, not a racist commentary on Iran or the Middle East, just an action fantasy that has some great graphics and pretty bodies and horror elements.

Critiquegod's rating E for Exceeds Expectations

Live Free or Die Hard

Fourth installment of the Die Hard franchise with Bruce Willis.

Starts with the bad guys taking computer code and integrating it into some massive security program, then killing the coders via a wired explosive charge. FBI gets involved and wants all the hackers on it's list brought in for questioning. We cut to a scene a downtrodden obsessive father (Willis) is interfering in his daughter's (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) life. She's pissed, he's hurt by her rejection and the boyfriend involved wisely goes home. He's tasked with picking up a young hacker, (Justin Long of "Hi I'm a Mac" fame.) The explosive is timely interupted, and a French hit team is sent to finish the cleanup. Violence ensues.

This is not a high art flick. This is a popcorn entertainment that delivers some good lines, some decent character development, and introduces some new actors and actress' to the audience. The chase, puzzle solving and scenery all contribute to a tenacious plot that illustrates some problems with our society and some feel good relationship building. It's a good flick to watch on a friday night with your girl.

Critiquegod's Rating E for Exceeds Expectations

Jumper

Jumper is an excellent book and a mediocre movie. I will recommend the book highly. It deals with a serious topic of prejudice, specie-ism and alienation. Written by Steve Gould it is an excellent read.

The movie deals mildly with these topics, but is more often than not relegated to the realm of candy floss depictions of these topics. I like Hayden Christensen in his role, and the love interest portrayed by Rachel Bilson is nicely done, but Steven Gould obviously was forced to PC up the content. Instead of depictions of truly evil, shadowy figures led by a serious fanatic, we got a half-hearted villain in the person of a white headed Samuel L. Jackson. The special effects were very nicely done, and take a serious role in the film. Budget was not spared to give us views of most of the worlds major tourist spots.

I have to say that if my Mom had left me and my Dad when I was 5, and then 14 or so years later a tall man with a taser showed up and tried to kill me, and then killed my father, who didn't really understand me, but covered for me and tried to protect me, I'd make sure his death was both slow and an example to others to stay the hell away from me in the future. Torture might even be involved to determine what I had to watch out for. Learning that my Mom was on the side of the folks trying to kill me wouldn't induce any warm fuzzy's either. The film glosses over all that, and leaves us with the feeling that this was a mere setup for the sequel.

I hope Steve Gould makes a bunch of money from these, but they aren't gonna be the Bourne movies by any stretch of the imagination.

Critiquegod's rating. A for Acceptable

The Tattooist

A 2007 New Zealand production by director Peter Burger of a mystery/horror flick. A tattoo artist, played by Jason Behr is at a Tattoo festival set in Singapore where he sees a very cute girl (of course) played by Mia Blake, and he follows her to a tent where the girls cousins are in the process of completing a tattoo. He impulsively steals an old tattoo tool from the Samoan tattoo artists, and after cutting himself with it finds his path set on a cycle of revenge via tattoos. Some will argue that the movie is less horror and more poorly done mystery, some the reverse.

What I thought upon seeing the theft of the tattoo tool, was "Well, this will end badly." I was right. The final scenes of the movie involve some truly beautiful tattoo art, and a repudiation of many years of ostracism for a "Shamed" family.

All in all, a good watch it once film that doesn't try too hard to be anything more than a decent entertainment. At least in my eyes.

Critiquegod's rating: A for Acceptable

Battle Royale, Director's Cut

Battle Royale, Director's Cut

Set in some alternate reality Japan, this film is a social commentary on Japan's conservative political thought processes by director Kinji Fukasaku. His direct experience as a young male during the war and what the bombing raids did to shape friendship during a struggle for survival has obviously shaped his outlook on what friendship is like in other situations. He brings this rather shattering viewpoint to the screen in his adaptation of Takami Koshun's novel.

This is a violent film, voted onto some lists as a top 100 dystopian film. Not suitable for the kiddies. It portrays violence against a subjectively viewed group of children as a societal reaction to disrespectful and violent youth in such a way as to challenge all society's rules for the enforcement of cultural mores.

I found the movie to be slightly contrived in its violence, possibly due to my own background. There were many reasons for me to challenge how the characters acted, and reacted to one another, but I'm not the intended audience to this morality play. While the violence is graphic, and sometimes gratuitous, there is a sense of inevitability the permeates the movie, and leads the viewer down the path to the ultimate end.

Critiquegod's Rating A for Acceptable